Blue Wolfe and Friends presents: Camp Here and There.

Episode Forty-Five: The Sky is Falling

[CLICK]

JEDIDIAH

The time is… uh…early, maybe? Uh… it’s hard to tell, but the sun’s barely risen yet. Maybe [STATIC] 6AM? And I’ve been brought in by two counselors woken up and deeply disturbed by uh… Rowan, this morning.

MARISOL

Did Salem wake you? I’m sorry.

JEDIDIAH

N-no, don’t worry. I’d already been up.

SALEM

All night?

JEDIDIAH

Uh… kind of.

MARISOL

Why’s that?

JEDIDIAH

Just… thinking on something Sydney asked me last night. It’s not important.

Uhh. The date is… uhm.. June– June 18th. My name is Jedidiah A. A. Martin, assistant nurse and designated tape-button-presser at Camp Here & There. This is a conflict mediation session. It’s taking place in the art cabin—despite Salem’s hesitation, due to what she refers to as “the raccoon’s ceramic phase.” Yet, Marisol refused my office.

MARISOL

Sydney was already up earlier. I’d like to let him sleep instead of filling the Nurse’s building with our noise.

JEDIDIAH

Right. Well. In accordance with the terms of my employment, I’ve made myself available as a neutral third party for the oversight of interpersonal conflict which has… grown beyond, uh… I-I can never remember this part, I’m sorry.

Anyway. I am here today with Marisol Yuchengco and Salem de La Marnière, to talk about the storm. Or—

[HE CLEARS HIS THROAT]

—not about whether it’s real. Because apparently we’re past that.

SALEM

We are. Rowan says it’s coming. I believe him.

MARISOL

We all believe him. That’s not the problem. Didn’t you hear what he was saying?

JEDIDIAH

Well—

SALEM

So let’s move forward with actual planning. Not fearmongering. Not superstition. Planning.

MARISOL

You’re calling my trauma a superstition?

JEDIDIAH

Okay! Let’s— Let’s start by stating names and perspectives, please.

SALEM

[CLIPPED, PRECISE] Salem de La Marnière. Cabin Grasshopper counselor, and frankly the only safety enthusiast here. I believe the best course of action for the storm is to shelter the campers and staff underground. The tunnels are insulated. They’re stable. I’ve made a list of reinforcements and ways to prevent flooding. We’ll seal the entries. We’ll post rotations. We’ll ration. If the sky goes sideways or the camp completely floods or whatever fun thing will happen this time, the tunnels are the one stable place we can make sure doesn’t bend to it.

JEDIDIAH

Right. Thank you. Marisol?

MARISOL

[BREATHES IN DEEPLY. TRYING TO STAY CALM]

Marisol Yuchengco. Also Grasshopper counselor, and art cabin director. And… the tunnels are cursed. Not figuratively. People forget where they are. The paths change. Sydney told me about that experience with his melting mind. A-and the laughing mold could still be down there! And I feel like we’re just forgetting it killed a camper. My camper, mind you—

SALEM

Our camper, Marisol. I’m not heartless, I feel it too.

MARISOL

You were not as close to him as me and you know it. I’m not putting eighty more kids down there with a pantry of snacks and a flashlight just because Salem brought a set of instructions. They’ll be trapped, they’ll be killed, or they’ll just be taken by the shifting rocks in some way!

SALEM

You know what else kills children, Marisol? Debris! Falling trees! Floodwater! A “high visibility field” won’t do anything when the rain starts whipping so hard it’s no different than a gunshot. We need ground. We need unbreakable walls.

MARISOL

You want to build walls around the children with the things that live down there?

SALEM

I want to build walls against the things coming down on us!

JEDIDIAH

Okay, alright, I— [HE SIGHS] I don’t know what anyone expects me to say here. We’ve been through five storms this year. We’ve had a heatwave that completely scorched the western grove. We’ve had the cloud jellyfish. We’ve had the locust salmon. Everyone turned out fine. As fine as it can be, I guess.

[ANOTHER SIGH]

It’s… always been peri-apocalyptic.

MARISOL

Rowan says this one isn’t like the others.

JEDIDIAH

He always says that. We’re supposed to listen to him this time—why, exactly?

SALEM

Because he cried for three hours and vomited into a thermos?

MARISOL

Because in a roundabout way, he’s always right. You claim he’s “saying the same things,” but you gotta listen. There’s small differences in the way he acts every time.

JEDIDIAH

Er, forgive me, but I just don’t see it.

MARISOL

I’ve never seen him like this.

JEDIDIAH

He’s distressed, yeah. Uncomfortably and painfully distressed, and I feel that. But it’s—the content isn’t any different.

MARISOL

Trust me, it’s worse.

SALEM

Look, even if it is worse—especially if it is—we need structure. Planning. We don’t just run around making up solutions out of terror.

MARISOL

Okay, but you did make it up. You decided on your own this is what we should do, and I know everyone’s just gonna nod along because you sound confident. You don’t get to override my fear with random logistics.

SALEM

Rowan suggested it first, you know—the tunnels. He said we should bunker down. Reinforce. Dig deep.

JEDIDIAH

Rowan also screamed at a wind chime for six hours, three days ago.

SALEM

He knows things, Marisol. You know he does. And he said tunnels! He was very clear about that.

MARISOL

[HALF-LAUGHING, HALF-HORRIFIED] You can’t—

SALEM

I’ve got industrial flashlights, schematics, protein bars, and a foolproof buddy system I’ve drafted! It’s not like I’m doing this half-cocked.

MARISOL

Jedidiah, back me up. Wasn’t your boyfriend the one who almost died down there?

JEDIDIAH

I… don’t like to think he almost died. It was a bout of low oxygen… I’m pretty sure. We–we don’t talk about it.

MARISOL

See? Not safe.

JEDIDIAH

For him, I agree. Though I have to admit that Sydney is often a, uh… edge case, when it comes to anomalies. No one else has reported that problem yet.

SALEM

Do we really know if what Sydney went through is fact or fiction?

MARISOL

Oh, you are not doing this again.

SALEM

What! Okay, look! I’m just saying—Sydney… embellishes. That’s not a judgment. That’s history.

JEDIDIAH

It’s still what he experiences.

SALEM

Yes, yes! Absolutely. But it says nothing about material safety or points to potential solutions.

MARISOL

A. Camper. Died. Salem.

SALEM

And I am trying to tell you that many more will! You’re not offering a counter-idea, and we can’t exactly sit on our thumbs!

MARISOL

[STRUGGLES TO FIND WORDS] Yeah, I’m pretty sure all the basements open to the tunnels in some way. We should reinforce an above-ground structure.

SALEM

And let it get swept away with all of us sitting pretty in it? You heard what Rowan said, it’s—

MARISOL

I believe Rowan. Of course I do. And I was the first person to bring him some food when his nose started bleeding raw from the panic this morning. I heard what he was saying. But that doesn’t mean every idea that falls out of his mouth is gospel.

SALEM

But this one makes sense.

MARISOL

To you. Because you like systems you can control. But the tunnels aren’t controllable. You can’t organize a place that re-writes its own floor plan.

SALEM

There are workarounds. We label the passages. We don’t move an inch more than we have to. We stick to the central ring, post a map, and have one in every camper’s hand, and again I bring up my buddy system! And I’ve already talked to Rowan about which areas are safest—he said the eastern branch near the old boiler room bends the least.

JEDIDIAH

I feel like I’m always arguing from a page neither of you are on. Salem, did you actually talk to Rowan?

SALEM

[EXASPERATED] Yes. He said it might be the only way to keep the camp body intact.

MARISOL

He said that specifically?

SALEM

Well, he whispered it through a towel, but yes. And then he looked up and said: “It’s deeper than us. The ground still listens.” If I’m getting it right, that means we need to be under it. Not above it.

JEDIDIAH

Or that means he needs electrolytes.

MARISOL

I don’t care what it means. If the ground is listening, I don’t want to be inside its mouth.

JEDIDIAH

I don’t get it.

MARISOL

Doesn’t the fact this is a repeat of our last problem make you think you should take us seriously?

JEDIDIAH

The irony is not lost on me, yes. But, let’s say there is a storm coming that will actually kill us, and that our infrastructure is not equipped to deal with it. Shouldn’t we just evacuate the camp?

MARISOL

According to Rowan, nowhere is safe. That’s part of why he’s so scared.

JEDIDIAH

Mm.

MARISOL

You think we should talk to Lucille about cancelling the session? At least that way, it’s not us who has to worry about the kids.

JEDIDIAH

Err.. uhm…

SALEM

I don’t think so. Seriously, could you get through to her, Jedidiah?

JEDIDIAH

[HE SUCKS THROUGH HIS TEETH] I guess she does depend on the finances of camp to help care for Sydney through the year.

SALEM

Ugh, great.

MARISOL

Why don’t—

JEDIDIAH

Yeeeah, I don’t think she’d be keen on refunding all the families, now that I think about it. And we don’t have the money like that to make it up.

SALEM

Didn’t you grow up affluent?

JEDIDIAH

Oh, I did but—I mean…

SALEM

What happened to all of that?

JEDIDIAH

My father was the breadwinner.

SALEM

Ah. Okay, Apologies.

JEDIDIAH

We live on the inheritance, but it’s not… flexible. Not equipped for emergencies like this.

SALEM

Mm.

MARISOL

Why don’t we ask Lucille what she thinks we should do? Sans cancelling the session.

SALEM

The storm isn’t supposed to hit for another three weeks, at least according to Rowan. So, we have time to plan.

JEDIDIAH

I don’t think she’ll listen, honestly. Or care.

MARISOL

Even if you tell her that her own life’s in jeopardy?

JEDIDIAH

It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve said that to her. Frankly, I think you two will look like you’re crying wolf again.

SALEM

Right—

JEDIDIAH

I’m honestly a bit shocked you still expect any administrative action from Lucille at this point. I think you’re on your own.

SALEM

Yes, I expected this. And that is why I’ve drafted the plan!

JEDIDIAH

I still don’t believe it’s a big deal…

SALEM

I’m not here for that. I’m here to ask you to talk some sense into Marisol so she backs me up to the other counselors!

MARISOL

Man, you’re being so nasty this morning.

SALEM

[SIGH] Okay, okay, sorry. That was uncalled for.

MARISOL

You’re just here to tell me I’m wrong.

SALEM

No. I’m here because I know what happens when people don’t prepare.

MARISOL

You’re here because you don’t trust anyone else to prepare.

SALEM

That’s not fair.

MARISOL

Isn’t it?

SALEM

No. It’s not. And I—I know what you’re getting at. This isn’t about the tunnels, is it?

MARISOL

It is. But it’s also… every time we’ve had a problem, you take over. You show up with a list and a plan and a tone, and everyone follows you, and I—I get steamrolled. I always do.

JEDIDIAH

Is that true?

SALEM

I… don’t mean for it to happen that way. I just… when it’s urgent, I act. I have to. I think faster when I don’t have to hold a committee vote. That’s not malicious, Marisol. That’s a wise instinct to keep people safe, ‘cause people don’t always know how to help themselves.

MARISOL

It still hurts. Even now—this plan you’ve drawn up? You didn’t ask me. You told me. You always tell me.

You’re always the one making the decisions.

SALEM

[HURT] You said you liked that about me.

MARISOL

I liked that you took initiative. Not that you took over. There’s a difference.

SALEM

[SHE STARTS TO LOSE HER COMPOSURE] Well, when I don’t, nobody listens to me either! You think I enjoy shouting over everyone just to be heard?

MARISOL

Salem—

JEDIDIAH

Girls—

SALEM

No, let me say it! Every single time there’s a crisis, it’s the same story. I raise a flag and people roll their eyes. I talk proper protocol, and I’m a killjoy. I come up with a careful plan, something sensible, and I’m an overbearing, butch brute with no empathy. And I always fold when I’m portrayed that way. Because if I get mad, I’m just proving your point and being the stereotype.

You think I’m railroading? Maybe. Maybe, sometimes I am. Because I have to! Because if I don’t, people die, you guys! And yes—yes, I’ve been brash. I know that. I’ve said things I shouldn’t, and I’ve hurt people. But I take safety seriously because no one else does. No one here respects that!

MARISOL

That’s not true.

SALEM

It feels true. What happened to believing our experiences? I see how people look at me when I bring up a voice of reason; level-headed ways to approach children, reinforced shelving, food prep, or my buddy system that I’m still very proud of. It’s– look, I know it’s not thrilling to have to be this person, and yes, it’s invalidating to my peers sometimes. But– No one wants to think about tangible risk mitigation. But if we’re not doing it—I have to.

People want to cuddle up and have a big hugbox where everyone’s valid and everyone’s thoughts matter, and the fact I don’t want that makes me a big bad bitch! But how should I feel when I’m always proven right? The worst happens. People I love are put in danger, get hurt, or worse. And if I say I was right, I’m rubbing it in. If I try again to enforce those solutions, I’m still a big steamrolling asshole.

So, tell me! At what point do I need to just ignore the noise and do what’s right anyways?

[A LONG SILENCE]

JEDIDIAH

[MUMBLE, SLEEPY] I know how you feel, Salem.

MARISOL

You know I do respect you, right?

SALEM

I don’t always feel like it.

MARISOL

I know.

And I’m sorry for that. But you have to admit that it’s scary how a camper died. That’s not just me being sensitive.

SALEM

I do think that’s scary. I don’t think there’s a foolproof solution to any emergency, and everything has risks. Some really big risks. We’re in a fucking apocalypse, for goodness sake. But… it does us no good to sit around and panic about it. We work with what we’re given and find the best solution, as shitty as it all is.

MARISOL

I admit… I get emotional.

SALEM

I don’t blame you. But coming up with solutions to your worries isn’t me trying to invalidate you, it’s the opposite, really.

MARISOL

I’m just sensitive to being talked over.

SALEM

I know.

MARISOL

The stakes are so high.

SALEM

Hey… I’m sorry for getting irritated with you.

MARISOL

And I’m sorry for the bad faith, Salem. I want to make sure everyone’s feeling alright. I also act from an instinct—it’s just a different one. I see disaster and I’m looking for who’s scared… I know that’s not always productive.

SALEM

But you stay with them.

MARISOL

Yes, always.

JEDIDIAH

That too is a virtue, Marisol.

MARISOL

Thank you.

SALEM

Also I hate Lucille.

JEDIDIAH

Mm.

SALEM

That old crone. Va t’en, ostie d’câlice de chat à marde.

JEDIDIAH

Uhm.

MARISOL

Salem, I know we’ve played with the idea, but I don’t think anyone could leave if they wanted to. You think Rowan wants to be here?

JEDIDIAH

[MUMBLING] My thoughts too. Him and Juniper both would high-tail it if they could.

MARISOL

There’s something in the soil.

SALEM

Uh, you alright there, Jedidiah?

JEDIDIAH

[SLEEPILY] I’m just dozing off.

SALEM

Right. Well the sun’s up now, so call that bad timing. Heh.

You know, Marisol… okay this is going to sound stupid, but—Do you remember that spring? The one where our kitchen window got stuck open?

MARISOL

Yeah. The one that let in all the mosquitoes.

SALEM

That’s the one. You kept saying it wasn’t a big deal. That we’d just light candles and keep the fan going. And it wasn’t. I mean, yeah, it wasn’t—not really.

But I—I just couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen if it rained. If water started seeping into the frame and warping the wall. Or worse—if a short circuit started in the outlet underneath. I mean, that’s all it would’ve taken, you know? Just a little moisture. So, I went out and bought that big sheet of plastic and taped it across the whole thing. Inside and out.

MARISOL

[LAUGHS SOFTLY] I remember. It looked like a quarantine tent.

SALEM

And I built that little plywood board to wedge against the sill, so it wouldn’t shake in the wind.

MARISOL

Made it impossible to open the cabinet for a month.

SALEM

[FONDLY] Yeah. But you let me do it, even though it was overkill.

MARISOL

Because I knew you’d sleep better. And honestly, the bites were driving me crazy too.

SALEM

I just… I kept thinking—if something could go wrong, I had to fix it before it did. It’s not about control. I mean… okay it is, maybe, a little. But not for the sake of power. It’s for… [PAUSE] love, really.

[THE WIND RISES OUTSIDE]

JEDIDIAH

[SLEEPY, BARELY PAYING ATTENTION] I understand that more than you may know.

SALEM

Do I not know?

[WIND PICKING FIERCELY, RATTLING WIND CHIMES]

JEDIDIAH

Well… no, sorry. I’m very tired.

[THE SCREEN DOOR CRASHES OPEN AND BANGS AROUND FROM THE WIND]

MARISOL & SALEM, SIMULTANEOUSLY 

Woah!

JEDIDIAH

Christ! What was that!?

SALEM

The wind’s turning violent—watch the door!

[FOOTSTEPS]

[HARSH THUNDERING NOISES RESOUND]

[WIND CHIMES SOUND] 

[CLICK]

MYSTERY MAN

The man runs outside. The sky above Camp Here & There is no longer one thing. It had split, subtly, like a fault line creeping across porcelain.

The man no doubt feels very, very afraid.

[CLICK]

With original music composed by Will Wood and produced by Jonathon Maisto. 

Additional music composed by Kyle Gabler and Another You. 

Dialogue editing by Beetlesprite

 Sound design by Blue Wolfe and Another You. 

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Thank you for listening to Camp Here & There! And remember: A volt is one joule per coulomb.